Learning to Love Myself.
“Learning to love myself is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Learning to love myself - say what? Love myself? I love a lot of things: my husband, my kids, good music, taking care of infants, chocolate, road trips, and international travel. But love myself — that is a concept and practice that I have never quite mastered. I have spent the last 30 years perfecting the art of self-deprecation and self-criticism — and when I am honest with myself, it has not made my life better.
I am exceptionally great at pointing out my faults. Aren’t we all? I have too many freckles, I should lose a few pounds, I talk too fast, I am quick to judge and fast to act. These are merely a few of my faults because if they were listed alphabetically, they could fill pages.
Why is it that our list of faults comes so readily, living at the tip of our tongues and ready to escape whenever we open our mouths. Contrast that with our strengths, which are held close; buried deep in our mind, afraid to be called out and recognized.
My freckles are beautiful. They make me unique. They are a blueprint of my life outside, interacting with the world and the sun.
My son loves falling asleep on my belly because it is soft. He asks every night to snuggle on my tummy.
I talk fast because I am intelligent and I think fast. I am efficient and get things done!
I make decisions quickly and decisively and move forward, dealing with the consequences and repercussions as they come.
What I saw then — my frizzy hair and my mommy tummy.
What I see now — I got my three children under 3 years old across the country to the beach and we had a blast!
Emerald Isle, NC 2017
What I saw then — a mom who should not be wearing a corset.
What I see now — a mom that is having fun dressing up with her 3 year old.
Renaissance Festival, 2017
What I saw then — my arms and legs aren’t the way I want them to look.
What I see now — I’m teaching my kids how to roast marshmallows and keeping them safe by the fire.
What I saw then - my hair is flat and my stomach has rolls.
What I see now — a working mom with something to offer other moms.
9News invited speaker.
In this last year, I started focusing on my strengths; working on fighting through self-doubt and self-hatred to see the strength and beauty I have. To shut out the “doubt ghost” in my head that is telling me I’m not good enough or I’m not pretty enough or I’m not fast enough or smart enough.
By shutting that “doubt ghost” out of my head, I am learning to love myself - not because I am perfect - but because I am good enough just as I am. And this has allowed me to move forward with projects that I am passionate about, like MightyLittles.
