Mighty Kindness Challenge 2020: Using Kindness Elves to Help Teach Children About Kindness and Giving at Christmas

I remember Christmas 2014 well. It was shortly after my oldest daughter turned 1 year old. The feeling of anxious anticipation I had to finally get to start the Elf on the Shelf tradition in our family. I had seen my friends doing it with their kids for years, and I could not wait to get started. The idea of adding magic into Christmas for her was intoxicating and appealing. I bought the Elf, the book, and got everything ready to have our house visited by the Elf.

Our Elf arrived that year on Dec 4th, St. Nick’s Day, with the book and a pair of Christmas jammies for Emmeline. And then I read the book, and it wasn’t a fit for me. I loved the idea of the Elf but hated the book. I didn’t like the idea that the elf was naughty. I didn’t like the concept that the elf went back to the North Pole to tattle on the behavior of the kids every night. I didn’t like the “big brother is watching” implications. And I was mostly put off at the idea of teaching my children to behave only because someone was watching them and they wanted something.

This is not to say that I have anything against the Elf, it just wasn’t a fit for me. We used that Elf for a couple more years, changing the messaging of the Elf and having the Elf deliver Christmas jammies and baking supplies and Christmas crafts, and not talking about the “naughty” or “I’m watching you aspects”.

I get it. Parenting is HARD. So hard. A little bit of “if you don’t XYZ, Santa isn’t going to come”… can go a LONG way to getting kids in bed when mom is overly exhausted. But, I’m never going to actually cancel Christmas or Santa, so why threaten? (Don’t send me hate mail if you love Elf on the Shelf. Play up all the fun shenanigans with your kids and enjoy every minute! I’m not saying it is bad. It just wasn’t a fit for me…)

And so I started to think about what I want for my children. What Christmas means to us. Whether you are religious or secular, there are certain values that you want to pass along and teach to your children. And I wanted to use the spirit of Christmas, love, giving, kindness, and use them to teach my children, not threaten them to behave.

I want to encourage my children to be kind, not force them.

I want to encourage my children to have compassion for those less fortunate than our family.

I want to encourage my children to give back to the local and global community.

I want to encourage my children to do what is right, even when no one else is looking.

I want to instill in my children the idea that Christmas is about giving, love, and showing the people around us that we care about them.

So over the last 6 years, our family Elf tradition has changed. We ditched the traditional Elf of the Shelf and moved to Elves that focus on kindness and giving. Each year, the Elves at our house go back and forth from the North Pole to our house, gathering supplies from Santa and delivering them to my children - so that they may give kindness and happiness to others. This year, our calendar of events looks a little bit different because of social distancing. And as they grow older and more capable of volunteering at a food bank or shelter, it will continue to change. For those of you who still have little littles, the elves can drop off arts and crafts projects and only move once a week for the kids to find!

I hope you will join us for the Mighty Kindness Challenge!

Our 2020 Kindness Elf Calendar.