Choosing a Less Hurried Life
When 2020 started, we were busy. With my husband and I both working full-time, the kids in school (Preschool and Kindergarten), and activities after school, free time felt nonexistent. We managed to eat dinner together nearly every night, but it felt hurried, squeezing it in before or after activities. Although we had tried to create space in our life for unstructured play and unscheduled family time (and limit our kids’ activities), somehow life still felt hurried and crowded.
Emme started JuJitSu at age 3, and the twins joined her classes in January.
And then….. Coronavirus. Between February and March, it was as if the pause button had been pushed all over the world. COVID-19 hit the world. Covid-19 hit the United States. COVID-19 affected my family and hospitalized my son. During the week I spent at the hospital with Lincoln, and the 3 weeks after that when I was quarantined at home with my family, it felt as if the world had completely stopped. Sure, having all three kids at home 24/7 for weeks on end without being able to leave the house made life a little crazier, but it also made it simpler, slower, and somehow more fulfilled. We weren’t racing out the door in the morning, living by a schedule of arrival times, dismissal times, activity start times, and bedtimes.
We were able to find a new family routine, one that revolved around choosing family activities. We had movie nights with popcorn and S’mores, family picnic nights, and family game nights. I have to admit, it was fantastic. It is still fantastic. Although I am back at work, our kids’ activities are still on hold and our family activities have become nightly events instead of once or twice a week.
As I was driving to work the other day, I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations Podcast - an episode that was published on May 5, 2020, featuring Dr. Alan Lightman. Dr. Lightman is an MIT professor of humanities, physicist, and best-selling author including the book In Praise of Wasting Time. He is a scientist who embraces spirituality and recently published an article in The Atlantic, “The Virus Is a Reminder of Something Lost Long Ago”. Phrases from the podcast and the article have continued to play in my mind for over a week.
“With more quiet time, more privacy, more stillness, we have an opportunity to think about who we are, as individuals and as a society".
“Without noticing, we slowly slip into the routines of our lives…”
“We have sold our inner selves to the devil of speed, efficiency, money, hyper-connectivity, ‘progress’”.
“…creativity thrives on unstructured time, on play, … on unpurposed ramblings through the mansions of life”.
“With the forced slowing of life granted by the coronavirus, we are now seeing an explosion of creative ideas and innovations…”
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived”
As the state of Colorado and the rest of the United States begin to open back up, I have been thinking constantly about how we were living and how we want to live. I want to live more deliberately. I am trying to purposefully choose a less hurried life. Here are the ways I am planning on living a more deliberate and less hurried life.
Prioritize. Prioritization brings order to chaos, creates calmness and space, and reduces stress. By paying attention to what matters most, we can purposefully put ONLY the things that really matter back into our lives and into our schedule. Put priority tasks (most important 3-5 things you HAVE to accomplish) at the beginning of the day, when you are most productive.
Learn how to say no. I know, I know - this feels impossible. However, we can make a conscious choice to do less. Focus on what is really important to you, what absolutely has to get done, and let the rest go.
Be present. It isn’t enough to say no and prioritize tasks. You also have to stay present. It is natural to think back to the past or leap forward into the future; thinking about something you should have done or something you need to do. Staying focused on the present is essential to slowing down and finding a greater appreciation for life. This also means focusing on people instead of devices. We are often distracted by our phones or distracted by other things on our mind while we are interacting with others (I am definitely guilty of this when my husband starts talking through the math related to artificial intelligence - I am trying, but, still my mind wanders).
Disconnect. Do you realize that the average adult spends 2 hours and 30 minutes on their phone every day, mostly on apps? That adds up to nearly 73 hours every month - the equivalent of almost two full work weeks. It is actually good to leave your phone behind for a nature walk or step away from your computer screen for a while. While you are constantly connected, you are open to interruptions and stressed about new messages coming in constantly.
Take control of your time. Eat slower. Drive slower. Take your time walking from one meeting to another. Enjoy listening to music or listening to a podcast while doing the dishes instead of rushing through them. And single-task, the opposite of multi-tasking. Multitasking is quickly switching from one task to another, back and forth, over and over. Multi-tasking tends to be less efficient, more complicated, more prone to stress and errors, and adds to the chaos of everyday life. By taking control of your time, and focusing on one task a time, you can focus your energy towards what you want, and create space in between tasks to feel less hurried and more present in your life.
Breathe. It seems easy enough, but I find this to be difficult. When life starts moving faster, with more requests and demands flying at me, I tend to react quickly. However, I find that by taking a few deep breaths, I can pause and think about what I want - both short term and long term - and it helps me make a better decision.
