Episode 7: A discussion about complex trauma with Julie Cullen.
This week Julie Cullen joins Mighty Littles to talk about trauma. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has her own private practice in Massachusetts.
When we talk about trauma, we typically think about specific events. A death, a robbery, a car crash. Looking at developmental and complex trauma is looking at the way complex environments affect us as we develop. This could be medical events, divorce, pandemics - all of these events can have an impact on us. Trauma feels heavy. But we all struggle with something. This discussion of trauma can be applied to any struggle we have in life.
For something to be traumatic, there need to be 2 key elements:
The event must be perceived as life-threatening.
The person needs to feel a loss of control. These are the thoughts of “how it is supposed to be” vs. “how it actually is”.
For families going through trauma, whether it is NICU or divorce or pandemic, things can absolutely be hard and overwhelming, but there are positives as well. Two things are true at once. If you get stuck thinking about and wishing for “how it is supposed to be”, you can not move forward and live life now, as it is. We discuss a few concrete actions you can take to ensure you don’t get stuck in “how it was supposed to be”:
While you don’t have control of the situation, you do have control over how you react to the situation.
Use social media wisely. Use it to support you, not bring you down.
Building relationships is key. It allows you to trust those who are supporting you.
Self-care. Not luxurious care, but self-care. Self-care gives you the energy to respond to things thoughtfully, not react to events emotionally.
Here are a few resources Julie recommends to families.
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk —— warning, this can be a hard read.
The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron
The Explosive Child by Ross Green
Beyond Behaviors by Mona DeLaHooke. www.monadelahooke.com
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