Holidays in the hospital can be hard. Finding ways to celebrate and finding joy in your days can be difficult in the NICU, a place initially described by so many families as scary and isolating. Even more, no two families will have the same experience.

For some, Christmas in the NICU falls at the beginning of their NICU journey. The NICU is new. Their baby may be critically ill. Their relationships with the physicians and nurses and NICU staff are still being formed and everything feels foreign and scary. Christmas is uncertain and might not feel like Christmas at all.

For some, Christmas falls in the middle of their NICU journey. Their baby is more stable, they have a routine with the NICU and NICU staff and they are watching their baby make strides. Discharge is far enough away that it is out of reach, and so they are accepting of spending their holiday in the NICU.

And for some, Christmas falls right at the end of their NICU journey. Discharge is just out of reach. While parents desperately want their baby home, to celebrate as a family at home, discharge is going to come just a few days too late, and the disappointment they feel is palpable.

When you have a child in the hospital, whether it is the NICU or PICU or pediatric hospital, Christmas is going to look different. But different doesn’t have to be bad.

I have worked a lot of Christmases in the NICU and have watched families find ways to make Christmas in the NICU special. Having a child in the hospital at Christmas can help you focus on what is truly important. Whether your holiday lights are hung or you presents are wrapped with perfect bows doesn’t matter.

Christmas in the NICU can still be festive.

Take lots of pictures and focus on the positives. No matter how hard it seems at the moment, you will cherish them down the line. Don’t be afraid to ask your nurses to help you take pictures with your child on Christmas (although, this is so much easier with iPhone cameras now that you may not need help!)
Bring decorations and special items to your baby’s space to make it feel festive. You can hang a stocking on the isolette or place Christmas decoration on a window ledge. Some NICUs will even allow you to have a small tree in your baby’s room. Small personal Christmas decorations can help soften a sterile environment and bring a smile to you and to those around you.
Even if you aren’t allowed to bring decorations, don’t underestimate how festive a holiday blanket can feel.
Look for the joy in every day. If you need to, look through your photos to help you find one joyful moment in every day. Moments of joy help make the unbearable moments more bearable and can get through the hardest days.
Bring your traditions into the NICU. If you have a favorite meal that you like to eat on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, bring them to the hospital and eat them in the waiting room. If you love wearing matching jammies on Christmas Eve, do it! You can even find a matching pair of jammies or blanket for your baby.
Play Christmas music or read Christmas books to your baby.
Find a special preemie themed ornament for you baby. They have jaundice glasses, preemie strong ornaments, isolettes and more available. You can also fit a preemie blood pressure cuff, preemie pacifier, nano preemie diaper, and hospital bracelet into a clear glass or plastic ornament.

Having a child in the hospital at Christmas can help you focus on what is truly important. Gratitude, hope, love and joy become the center of the holiday.